Well, Alex and I talked about what happened, and I think it’s all going to be ok.  I explained to him everything I was thinking and feeling (which I think really boiled down to the fact that I didn’t like sleeping with someone who gave me the impression that he didn’t even care about me on a friendship level), and he was surprisingly supportive and caring.  He really just wants me to be ok, and we agreed that we’d hang out.

I was driving by his house yesterday, so I called him up to see if I could stop by and say hi for a bit.  I ended up staying all afternoon, and we talked more about the situation.  It turns out he was so wary of leading me on or allowing me to get attached that he was pushing me away extra hard and feigning indifference toward me.  In reality, while neither of us is interested in dating the other person, we do enjoy spending time together and care about each other as friends.  Talking to him was really great…it made me see that he does care, he’s just not a thoughts-and-feelings kind of guy most of the time.

I felt so much better about the situation, in fact, that I ended up spending the night and having sex with him again.  And it was great.  I felt good about myself, I felt good about the way I made him feel, and I felt like I was part of a mutual understanding about what was going on.

So I’ll keep sleeping with him, for now, because it’s working out for both of us.  And we can pretend for a night that we’re not so alone, but we communicate so that neither person misinterprets the situation.

Hopefully this is all true and not just my brain justifying reckless behavior. :)